


Family is Blood, Family is Mayhem

by sinister666



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band), The Exorcist (1973)
Genre: Because I can, Crack AU, Get in for a wild ride, I am deadass frightened about reactions, I will not reveal what the porn has but there are surprises you did not expect, I will stop with the tags they are nonsense, Karras too, M/M, Mpreg, Other, Papa II is not happy he's too old for this, Papa to Mama Emeritus, Pregnant Papa II, The Unholy Family are mostly guests of honor, Tobias if you stumbled upon this and got this far DON'T go any further, and pray to Satan for Copia, cii, crack and porn is mostly what this is, if you are searching for the impossible you found it, my guilty pleasure, occasional porn mostly humor, papa II and cardinal copia as parents, papa ii submissive in bed for insight, repeat lost of crack lots of drama some porn, shut up I gave you a warning, this is pretty much madness so be warned, we need ya sane, why the Hell am I posting this here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinister666/pseuds/sinister666
Summary: This has happened in Emeritus Bloodline before... His brat of a younger brother gave birth to the Antichrist.After a wild night, Papa Emeritus II finds himself pregnant with a spawn of Cardinal Copia. How will the worst choice of couple to become parents handle this duty? How will the worst person to become a parent handle... motherhood?.. fatherhood?.. Papahood?.. Mamahood?.. Whatever it may be. How will Copia deal with a grouchy old man lover and a shrieking infant demon as an addition to his already insane schedhule? How will it affect everyone around?.. What could go wrong, folks... what could go wrong.Looking for impossible? You came into the right forest, Motherfucker. Buckle up, we goin' for a wild fucking ride baby.(Mostly Crack!Fic. I am still not sure how did I have guts to post it. I was probably fucking drunk.  Apologies if any characters seem out of themselves... Or not. It's my fucking interpretation. Not a serious one either. ;) Don't mind the cursing. Habits)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The fic pretty much begins with filthy porn like promised.  
> NOTE: To some it may seem that II is raped by Copia. He is NOT. What they do here is extreme power play. Despite Papa seeming unwilling, he is CONSENTING. It's all their game. Could you imagine how many times similar things happened to Copia you would not feels sorry about II's defeat at all. 
> 
> NOTE 2: My first time writing porn anywhere other than roleplay. Go easy on me. Give me tips if you have any...

Copia felt himself pushed roughly against the wall, teeth sinking into his neck as Emeritus the Second snarled possessively. It always went like this between them two. Wrathful. Filthy. Intense… The Cardinal would struggle, scratch the other violently, hiss and even attempt to push Emeritus underneath himself for once, but all in vain. It never worked out, and Copia would always end up pinned to the ground, fucked mercilessly. He had grown tired of it. Sick of being tossed around like a bloody ragdoll, treated like a whore. Copia was younger, stronger than the grouch. And tonight, Emeritus was to have a taste of his own medicine… 

 

Swiftly and without a warning, the Cardinal’s hand broke free from restrain and grasped Emeritus’ neck, squeezing harshly until shallow wheezing sounds started erupting from the shocked older man’s throat. Using the opportunity of him utterly stunned, Copia switched their positions, former leader of Ghost now his lover’s captive. The Cardinal forced Emeritus’ hands above his head, hips pinning him still. Smirking, for victory suddenly tasted so sweet, Copia leaned down, biting his sudden prey behind the ear, feeling metallic taste of blood on the tip of his tongue. This snapped Emeritus out of trance, causing him to see red - not at all enjoying his current pathetic situation and loss of control. Eyes glowing in sheer rage, he started struggling, kicking as if a madman, growling and cursing “You fucking worthless Rat!.. You’ll regret it!..” in desperation to break free. However Copia was having none of it, not this time anyway, one hand wrapping around his throat once again while another still secured Emeritus’ wrists in place “Now, now” he spoke in lustful, domineering voice - clearly showing who held the reins “Watch your mouth, Emeritus, or I’ll gag you… and cease squirming. Do you want me to tie you up?..” releasing the infuriated man’s throat, fingers slowly trailed down, unzipping his pants. Ignoring the other’s hisses of anger and resistance, Copia stroked his entrance. _Completely dry… Not good at all..._ “It seems I will have to tie you up anyway… Only while I prepare you. For your own good. You don’t want me to take you dry like that, do you, _sweetheart_?..”. Emeritus gritted his teeth in rage, spitting into Copia’s face “Release me you filthy rat!”. The Cardinal shook his head “You have to learn, Emeritus. Control belongs to the stronger one. You would always win, and you would do whatever you wished with me. But now it’s my turn. I really, _really_ want you to enjoy it as much as you can, Emeritus. Do you want this to hurt? I don’t. And the more obedient you are, the less it will. Now bend over” he ordered, pushing the older man towards the desk. Emeritus snarled again, attempting one last time to shake Copia off and get away from this utter humiliation. His protest was met with a sharp smack on the rear “I said bend over. Do you want to be punished?” the Cardinal repeated in a far more strict tone. Pretty much without another choice, former leader of Ghost gave in, letting Copia tear his pants away and tie his hands to the chair on the opposite side - leaving always a powerful, ruthless man exposed and vulnerable for any blasphemious whim the younger man may have. Growl of loathing, no matter nearly inaudible, still rumbled from the depth of his throat. Beyond pleased with the sight, Copia chuckled devilishly, retreating to dig through the drawers for lubricant. Using the opportunity, trying his best to ignore the sickening feeling of his entrance stripped and inviting to be used, Emeritus spat once again “So how am I to call you” former Papa’s voice soaked with mockery just as much as with grimness of defeat “Sir? Master? _Daddy?_..”. The Cardinal sighed heavily, having retrieved what he searched for “Why are you being so hard on both of us, love?.. You know I have a name. You are to call me that. Now spread your legs”. Emeritus remained still, earning another harsh smack on the rear “I said spread your legs”. With a grunt, he obeyed, making the younger man smile “ _Good boy_ ” before slicking his fingers and beginning to teasingly rub the lubricant into the former Papa’s entrance. Odd shivers spasmed through Emeritus’ intimate muscles as these long, talented fingers slid inside, stretching him and oiling him up. Neither could truly tell was it resentment or was it purely physical thrill, for deep down in his gut, Emeritus was beginning to slightly enjoy this experience of sensuality unexplored before. _Curse him if the Rat could tell…_ Copia chuckled, free hand smearing lubricant on his already hardening cock. Old grouch was far more likeable when submissive… Could even be called cute. And for Satan’s sake - so fucking sweetly _tight_ , obviously never fucked before. _Not like this..._ However the Cardinal was in mood far more mischievous than he himself anticipated. “You are so tight even for my fingers… Am I the first to take you like that, Emeritus?..”. The older man snarled quietly. His rear at this point had already started turning red with bruises - this time Copia spanked him more ruthlessly than previous two. “Am I the first one?..”. “Yes” Emeritus muttered with disgust that masked briefest hint of budding thrill. It did not go unnoticed by Copia. “Yes who? I want to hear you say my name, Emeritus. I want to know you know which name to scream so I don’t have to ruin it for both of us by having to punish you…”. “Yes, Copia” former leader of Ghost gave in easier this time, hissing through the teeth. “Say it again” the younger man demanded, knowing he had discovered just that right spot when Emeritus’ legs suddenly started trembling, back arched, hips bucking into the other’s ruthless fingers as a groan of pleasure escaped his lips - old grouch having no power to resist “Y-yes, Copia!..”. “Good boy” The Cardinal murmured, amused. 

 

He could tell Emeritus was ready - his entrance moist and hot, muscles loosened just enough for no injuries, at least serious ones, to be caused. _How tempting to just fuck him right here over the desk, right this second... Bent over to reveal his tight dripping hole in sweetest manner, tied up, completely at Copia's mercy... Just asking to be pounded like a little slut... How tempting..._ But no. The Cardinal had other plans. Other desires. Without a warning, Copia’s fingers withdrew, the former Papa’s restraints swiftly cut. Giving the older man no time to grasp what’s happening  or resist, the Cardinal threw Emeritus onto the bed, climbing atop him, holding his arms powerless above his head, hips between his once superior’s legs. Copia wasted no time, his throbbing member piercing into former leader’s slick entrance, making Emeritus’ eyes roll backwards in pain and rapture. Copia could swear he felt a drop of blood trickle from the older man’s ungodly core, thus did not rush - letting his partner adjust, making sure his first movements were gentle and careful. But it did not last too long - the Cardinal’s head spun, he was far, far too impatient. Soon enough, his thrusts picked up a deep, powerful, felon pace, animalistic sounds of pleasure erupting once awkward Clergy punchbag’s lungs. _He could not resist… How possibly?.._ Copia released Emeritus’ wrists, supporting himself on one arm as he reclaimed the sweetest display of power - squeezing the other’s throat, robbing him of air. Emeritus did not fight anymore… He longed to loathe this degradation. He did loathe it. Yet at the same time, formed leader of Ghost absolutely loved it - being used as the Rat Cardinal’s plaything, helpless. strangled meanwhile his lover pounded into him without remorse. Being fucked into submission… Now he understood why these countless times things went other way around, Copia rejoiced. What old grouch would never admit out loud - it was exciting. So very exciting… Hands now free, Emeritus dug his nails into his lover’s back and scalp, legs wrapped around his loins, begging to go deeper, harder. “Say it!” Copia moaned “Let it out…” oh how much that awkward creature now resembled a feral incubus “I want to hear you scream my name!..”. “C-Copia!.. Yes!... Y-yes!.. F-fuck, Copia!..” Emeritus wailed like a trembling mess he had turned into, writhing and convulsing underneath the younger man, sensation rippling through his nerves, burning them and making him see the stars. _Fuck…_ Copia was close. Very, very close… This lasted shorter than he intended, but could you blame him - the old man’s hole was so bloody virgin… With a shriek, Copia released himself into that fucking divine ungodly crevice, feeling Emeritus tighten around him so hard he was damn as Hell sure not only the grouche’s ass was going to be left bruised next morning. Shivering, the Cardinal collapsed atop his lover, drenched in sweat and struggling to regain his breath. Limp and hazy in bliss, limbs tangled, Copia still buried inside the former Papa, they laid for long, _long_ minutes… perhaps hours. Who could tell. Eventually though, Copia rolled off, pulling out and holding the drained and defenseless Emeritus closer. “I damn sure as Hell am going to win far more often from now…” he whispers, kissing former frontman’s forehead, then softly pecking his lips before pressing two fingers smeared in the older man's own seed, which had exploded all over his stomach in a blindening orgasm, to them. "Taste yourself" he orders tenderly. Too exhausted to fight his lovely defeat anymore, Emeritus obediently opens his mouth and lazily twirls his tongue around the younger man's fingers, licking his skin clean from the salty, tightly-textured white substance.

 

\---

 

Emeritus the Second could no way in Nine Circles of Hell tell what possessed him to listen to his annoying brat of a younger brother. Obviously, he had not missed a cycle, he was a man,  however stubborn mysterious sickness which would not release the old man after his unfortunate loss against Copia in a sensual fight oddly pointed out to it. Given the fact it happened before in their bloodline - Emeritus the Third, his very same younger brother, had given birth to Lucifer’s Daughter, The Antichrist, several years prior (this is a… very long other story for another time)... 

 

Now a bitter, wounded old man, cruel, power hungry bastard feared by all held a white plastic stick in his shuddering hands, gaze bewildered and bloodshot. _It… It could not be…_

 

White fucking plastic stick… Two lines… _Two fucking pink lines…_

 

A screech which could easily put a banshee to shame echoed through the Clergy, freezing everyone in terror. Meanwhile Emeritus the Third merely sighed. _Who now got himself in trouble, grouch?.._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A petrified doctor, a happy cardinal, a sweet candy for the Clergy's gossip... what else to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief heads up - Doctor Beelzebub is not Beelzebub the Prince of Hell. He's a human, that's just well... his name. Sorry for the wait! Haha but I am uploading on the day of Prequelle's release, so let us honor the sentiment ;)

There had been plenty of times when Doctor Beelzebub detested his job, though never before had he regretted becoming a medic like now, slowly approaching Emeritus the Second with papers in his hands. The man had always been always a menacing persona, yet gaze which met the Clergy’s head doctor, was something… else. Losing both hands sounded like best case scenario with such a patient… Losing his head - even more likely. “Your blood test results, Papa” Beelzebub attempted his very best to sound calm and professional. Emeritus took a deep breath, glancing over at the medic so coldly it was shocking he did not turn into ice that very second. “Just tell me the that thing made a mistake” former leader of Ghost murmured without emotion, referring to home pregnancy test he took yesterday. Beelzebub sighed “I’m afraid not, Papa. Your blood test came back… positive. You are with child”. Emeritus did not reply - staring at the ceiling glassy-eyed. The doctor found himself nearly shivering - this kind of quiet was silence before a nightmare. Oh how gladly he would dart through the door, avoiding doom… However as if his job ever allowed. The frequency of times the Clergy needed a doctor’s service topped numbers of ones around bloody fucking ridiculously. Meanwhile Beelzebub’s unfortunate ass happened to be their damned head. “Papa…” Beelzebub found his voice far too timid for his own liking “If you’d like to discuss…”. “No” Emeritus cut the doctor off before he could finish “I am not aborting it”. If this day could get any stranger… It just did. Beelzebub had been certain this child was the last thing former Papa wanted. The medic managed to maintain composure despite his shock “Ah… There is no need to decide immediately. You are five weeks along, judging from the last time you… well, engaged in an intercourse. If you choose to terminate the fetus it’s best to be done as soon as possible to avoid necessity of surgical abortion, however you still have a week or two to consider, Papa” he explained, earning a dismissive gesture from the patient. “There is nothing to consider” Emeritus sounded stern in his word “It’s an heir to my Bloodline. I am not aborting it” he repeated, putting an end to Beelzebub’s wonders with intention or not “Now tell me how to keep it alive. I am no fool, doctor, neither clueless. Because of my age I am no less than five times more at risk of miscarriage or death than my brother was”. Beelzebub nodded “Yes, I’m afraid that’s true. Your pregnancy would be a high-risk one. Yet if keeping the baby is your final choice I shall prescribe you medications to provide the fetus with minerals and lessen the threat of natural miscarriage. For that matter, I’d highly recommend you to rest a lot, Papa, and decrease any kind of strain, physical or mental, to lowest possible level. You’d also have to quit smoking and drinking for the time period, as it could severely damage both your and the fetuses’ health. Your diet should undergo certain adjustments to ensure right nutrition and I am to perform regular ultrasounds, monitoring the fetuses’ growth. In fact, I would… suggest performing an ultrasound right now”. “Very well. Go ahead”. 

 

==================================================================

 

At the back of his skull, Copia wondered had his spirit already slipped out of lifeless cadaver once his eyes met Emeritus’ gravely gaze.Well… he was not floating below the ceiling, looking down at his death-distorted face. Thus probably not. Trying his best not to shake or fidget, the Cardinal slowly stepped closer to the bed where his lover rested. Copia gestured vaguely “So… what did Doctor Beelzebub say?..” he asked nervously. Former leader of Ghost did not reply - merely tossed something onto the blanket above him for the current one to see. Breathing in deeply, Copia closed the gap and picked it up. A sonogram picture… “See that black spot?” Emeritus spoke at last “I think you know what it is”. The Cardinal fought an urge to stumble backwards, hand shivering. He had never thought this would… or could, really… Male pregnancies may have occurred before, with aid of daemoniac powers and dark magic involved, but Emeritus could certainly be deemed too old, let alone for his first child… “Are you going to?..” he asked meekly. “I am keeping it” Emeritus sounded oddly calm for such a frantic situation. Copia rubbed his eyebrow, nerves howling, brain pushing the information away… Not that he wanted the baby terminated, just… the fucking havoc. First he becomes official leader of the Clergy and the frontman of Ghost, now - news he might as well going to be a father. It felt as if a boulder had crashed onto his head. Power - one thing, yet parenthood… He, of all the folks out there, a father!.. “You don’t have to...”. “It is an heir of my bloodline, I am not getting rid of it” from his tone it was clear the former Papa shall not pay second thoughts “I do not care if you will be around or not”. Copia swallowed “It’s my child, too. If you are keeping it… I have the right to stick around. Besides” he sat down on the edge of the bed “There is more between us than just sex. You may refuse to admit…”. “It’s not a time to grow sappy” the older man growled. “Yes it is” Copia hissed, grasping his lover’s hand “We are having a baby. Neither of us knows ass how to parent, and that’s why we need to buckle up on this wild fucking ride”. Emeritus closed his eyes tiredly “Copia, you know I can’t stand inspirational speeches neither have best associations with the word family”. “Exactly. That’s why I am speaking in facts. I want to fuck up at least a little less than your father. I am not going to neglect my child. Nor am I going to neglect you for that matter”. The former Papa glanced up at his lover again “You want to act as a father figure to this child?.. Great. Swear something to me, then”. “What is it?”. “I am old, Copia, we both know that. I may very possibly die giving birth to this little rodent” his expression grew gravely “In case I do I want your word you shall make sure my… our, if you prefer, offspring holds the power which belongs to it. I want your oath you shall watch out so it’s not disgraced”. “You have my word. I would never let our baby to be pushed around. On the other hand” Copia’s tone grew just a little more playful “I may let you boss me around if only that prevents you from strain… To make sure you do not die”. “Very funny, aren’t you?..” Emeritus snorted sarcastically. “I am being serious” the Cardinal teased before suddenly freezing, appearing timid, lips twitching as if he wanted to ask something but would not dare. The older man frowned “What is it?..”. Copia inhaled deeply “Can I… Can I touch your stomach?..”. Former leader of Ghost raised his brow “I am only five weeks along, you would not feel anything”. Copia shrugged “I know, it’s just… a sentiment I guess”. “Fine” Emeritus grasped his lover’s hand, guiding it under the covers and onto his stomach. A fond smile  flickered onto the Cardinal’s lips “I could swear I feel an… energy of sorts”. “That’s your imagination” Emeritus did not realize his own tone became a bit gentler. “Maybe… Probably” Copia muttered and leaned down to kiss the other on the lips. The old man returned his affection, though drew back shortly after “Don’t get used to it. I still detest you”. The Cardinal snickered “We’ll see…”. “What was that supposed to mean?..”. “Oh, nothing, nothing my love” he rumbled playfully, having grown bolder after his promotion. However instantly, Copia silently cursed himself. No matter how high self esteem, it shall never be a wise choice to annoy Emeritus the Second. Let alone pregnant Emeritus the Second. Add pregnant with his child… Copia flinched, swiftly changing the topic “Do you want to keep this to ourselves?.. Till you start to show and all I mean”. Emeritus glared at his lover as though the Cardinal was the most stupid person in whole fucking history “Keep this to ourselves?.. What possible damned keeping to ourselves are you talking about, Copia? The whole Clergy is likely blowing up by now”. 

Poor Emeritus… if only had he been wrong. No one concentrated on their duties anymore without their superiors even raising a finger to scold, too busy gossiping and theorizing themselves. Some janitor Ghoul, believe it or not, dared to spread a rumor not the Cardinal at all had fathered the Bloodline’s new heir, but… Sister Imperator?! “Poor Copia”, according to him, was used as a cover so Papa Nihil would not find out, given his ages-lasting affair with said incarnation of terror. A couple of Sin Sisters nearby, obviously, could not back up such a word, too frightened to be skinned alive, resorting to their own perhaps a little less insane, yet far more disgusting, genetics-wise, argument - that Papa Nihil himself had impregnated his own son. 

 

What did Papa Nihil think of all it?.. The old man, in fact, was oblivious to everything including his son’s pregnancy, curse or bless his age. That is until previously mentioned Sister Imperator walked into his room, smiling “Ah Papa, Congratulations!” said she in a cheerful tone “With good Doctor Beelzebub’s confirmation now it is certain - you are going to be a grandfather!”. Papa Nil frowned, groping his mitre in confusion “A grandfather?.. But Sister, I am already a grandfather… to the Antichrist!”. Imperator sighed “What I mean, Papa, is that you are going to be a grandfather again. The second time!”. At last, it clicked. A wide grin spread on the old man’s lips, white eyes glowing in rejoice some might call creepy “Oh, Sister… Are you serious? Lucifer’s glorious seed sprouted inside my son again?..”. “Serious as a heart attack. Only Papa… It is not your youngest son who is with child. It is your second”. Speaking of heart attacks… “My second?! But Sister, he… he is sleeping with the Cardinal!”. Let us hope that moment Papa Nil reconsidered being upset about the Cardinal not belonging to the Bloodline. 


End file.
